搞笑英语话剧剧本
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搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 演员表： 西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 king 路人 上官雪儿 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow . Birds are dancing in the cold . A man is walking along the street ,step by step . Wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you ! Y:, Never mind baby. X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you? X:Iamximenchuixue. Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts? X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date! Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X:No, I must kill you ! Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me! X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me! X:Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that? Y:please drink it! X喝完牛奶:Thanks, Y:Do you still want to kill me ? X:Sure, must! Milk is milk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1! X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach ! Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit （一人路过，x起身跑过去） X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me . Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road! X:Thanks,byebye. Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼) Y:Who are you? H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” . H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world ! Y:You are right ! H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want. Y:Yes,It’s very good. H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king! 第二幕：无间道 H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng. K:sit down plese, yegucheng. Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you? King:yes,I will. Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ? K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha…… Y:of course. 美女出场 M:hello，帅锅.. K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual. H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich? Y: Yes,I do. K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停） X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine! K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you? Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me. X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something! Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me! X:Forgive you? Why ? Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year! X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶) X:milk?I love you. K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me ! X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K) K:Fuck you. I must kill you! X:How can you kill me? haha…… Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下) M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边） Y :do you want to go to wc? X:Yes,I……I…… do. Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards. M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away ! K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ? M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover? Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die. M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning ! K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume ! M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume ! (M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起) Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停) （X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起） M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together . X:go home ! ? M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love. X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go. M I promise . I will never let go（X死） , M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance ! 本文来源：https://www.wddqw.com/doc/a5e30b41551252d380eb6294dd88d0d233d43c64.html