儿童英语幽默笑话段子

【#少儿英语# 导语】学习英语不能急于求成不可能一口吃成胖子。儿童阶段英语学习对孩子来说工作量还是很大的，孩子不可能一口吃成胖子，也没有捷径可走。如果真要找个捷径的话，那就是让孩子轻松、愉快地学习，但是时间和精力是必须付出的。如果抱有“速成”的心态，就要适得其反了。以下是®文档大全网为您整理的《儿童英语幽默笑话段子》，供大家查阅。

1.儿童英语幽默笑话段子

他什么都没听到

Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。所以，有一天当一个生气的顾客气冲冲地来到我的工作台时，我还是非常平静地问她，“有什么问题吗?”“我早上上街了，”女顾客说，“我回到家的时候，我看到一个卡片，卡片说邮递员要给我们家送包裹，但没人在家。可是我的丈夫整个早上都在家啊。他说他什么都没听到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹给了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顾客喜形于色。“我们等这东西都等多少年了!”“是什么好东西?”我问。“我丈夫的新助听器”。

2.儿童英语幽默笑话段子

小心有狗

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”

3.儿童英语幽默笑话段子

为什么六怕七呢?

Q: Why was six scared of seven?

A: Because seven "ate" nine.

问题：为什么六怕七呢?

回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!

(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)

用“beans(豆子)”造句

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。

(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)

两块蛋糕

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly take this piece and cut it two!

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?

妈妈：当然可以，拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

4.儿童英语幽默笑话段子

One

小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?

老师说：Go ahead.

小明就坐了下来。

过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?

老师说：Go ahead.

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?

小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!

Two

某日，小明学习了how to spell it?这一句型。回家后,妈妈看见他手上的玩具表，问道：

妈妈：What’s on your hand?

小明：Watch.

妈妈：How to spell that?

小明：T-H-A-T~

Three

某日，老师教小涛，英语中，姓氏可以放在名字后面。小明放学后碰到一个外国人，于是他勇敢地上去与外国人对话。

小明：How are you? My name is HongTao Liu.

外国人：Oh, my god! 我还是方片七呢!

Four

一日，小明心情有很好，于是他夸赞英语老师漂亮。

小明：Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.

老师听后心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。

小明心想：老师的意思就是“Where? Where?"，天哪，还有这样的人，非要追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马*拍到底：

"Everywhere, everywhere."

老师：……

Five

小明刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry.

老外应道：I am sorry too.

小明听后又道：I am sorry three.

老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?

小明无奈，道：I am sorry five.

Six

一日，小明上课打磕睡，于是英语老师向小明提问。

老师：小明，How are you是什么意思?

小明心想：how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”

老师很生气，又问：“那How old are you ?是什么意思?”

小明心想：old是老的，于是回答怎么老是你?”

5.儿童英语幽默笑话段子

One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

一天有只小白兔来到面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

老板回答：“抱歉我们没有那么多。”

"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.

“哦，太遗憾了。”小白兔失望地离开了。

The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

第二天小白兔又来到那个面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

老板仍回答：“抱歉我们没有那么多。”

"Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.

“哦，太遗憾了。”小白兔又失望地离开了。

The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

第三天小白兔依然来到那家面包店，问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

"Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.

“啊是的，今天我们有100个小面包啦!”老板高兴地回答。

"That's great, I'll buy two, thank you!"

“那太好啦!我买2个，谢谢!”

The shopkeeper stood silently.

老板无语了……

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