女人的一样与不一样

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女人的“一样”和“不一样”

常听到这样的抱怨:做女人真是吃力。我深有同感。细究起来,这种吃力不仅是体力上的,更主要的是心理上的。

在我们还是小女孩的时候,我们就懂得一条千真万确的道理:妇女半边天,男女都一样。那时候,这口号被我们喊在嘴上,心里只感到骄傲与豪迈;那时候,这口号被我们努力地落实为行动,确实体现出了女人和男人有一样的智慧一样的能力一样的才干,什么“铁姑娘队”、“三八包车组”、“女飞行员”等等,在各行各业女人们的表现决不落后于男人;男人能做到的事情女人没有办不到的;人和男人应该而且必须并驾齐驱。“男女都一样”的口号,那么响亮地被贯彻了几十年,并组成为一种世界观,影响着我们的人生,而且,这口号还是一种具有历史意义的标志——中国妇女解放的标志。 但我不能认同。

万事万物由方方面面组成,而那个“男女都一样”的口号,只是向女人提出要求,却没有相同的口号要求男人和女人做得一样:一样耐心持久地抚育孩子;一样任劳任怨地操持家务;一样尽心尽责地伺奉老人。仔细想想,“男女都一样”的口号曾鼓舞着许多妇女竭力地建树和男人一样的丰功伟绩,同时,女人却依然要做那些和男人不一样的事。所谓“一样”的口号,使女人们在做着女人的同时再做男人;其实,所谓“一样”的口号,让女人们又给自己加重一挑担子。女人和男人在根本上还是不一样。

时过境迁,在“男女都一样”的口号被喊得过于长久之后,社会来了改革,冲破层层束缚,男人们的要求和欲望大大地获得解放,他们对女人的要求和欲望便相应地来了改革,不再停留在“都一样”的程度上,而是提出新口号:“女人应该像个女人,要体现女人味道。”说白了,就是要求女人还原女人和男人的不一样。有人说,这将意味着中国妇女的一大进步。 我还是不能认同。

在强调“一样”时,女人和男人并非真的一样。在强调“不一样”时,女人却还是少不了要和男人一样的同工同酬。难怪女人们一致的感到辛苦感到劳累。要求她们既要做得和男人“一样”,不被男人轻视,又要做得“不一样”,让男人们欢欣,她们真是招架不住了,而且,也是不公平的。何况,无论“一样”或“不一样”,要完完全全地做到,没有一定的条件作保证光靠女人们自身的努力,很难两全其美地一身兼起“一样”又“不一样”的使命。我不否认,“男女都一样”的口号,在一定程度上,使妇女有了社会地位有了经济地位;而“男女不一样”的要求。又在一定程度上,使妇女们渐渐完善了女性的素质。问题是“一样”的解放和“不一样”的进步,是男人世界对女人的不断要求,那么,男人世界又是如何要求男人们从传统中得到解放和进步的呢?

我以为,这是在“一样”和“不一样”的口号后面值得深思的问题。






Are Women “As Good As Men”?

Lu Xing’er



I often hear the complaint that it is so hard to be a woman, and I can’t help feeling the same. The s train is not only physical, there’s also the psychological burden.

Ever since I was a little girl, we all held it as an indisputable truth that “Women hold up half the sky,” that “women are just as good as men.” At the time, as we chanted the slogan, our hearts were filled with pride. We put the saying into action, and proved that women were indeed just as good as men, just as smart just as capable and just as talented. The examples of the “Iron Girls Brigade,” the “March 8 Railway Service Group,” the female aviators and so on were living proof that women have caught up with men in every field of action; that women were perfectly capable of doing whatever men can do; that women can and must keep up with men. The slogan “women are as good as men” has been ringing clear and loud for the last couple of decades, it has been deeply ingrained into our mentality and has influenced our lives. This slogan also has its historical significance—it is an emblem of women’s liberation. But I have my reservations.

All things under heaven and earth are made up of different parts, but the slogan “women are as good as men” makes demands on women without making a corresponding demand on men to be “just as good as women”: to raise children just as patiently, to do household chores just as uncomplainingly, to care for the old just as dutifully. Come to think of it, the slogan “women are as good as men” has spurred women on to achievements to challenge men’s. But at the same time, women must still do what men do not stoop to. The fact is, “women are as good as men” means that women after doing what women do, must take up another burden. Let’s face it, basically women are not the same as men.

And now times have changed. The slogan “women are as good as men” has obviously been flaunted long enough. With the onward march of time, reform has set it; male demands and male desires, after breaking through many restrictions, have been liberated. Their demands on and their desires for women have also undergone a reform and have moved beyond the marker of being “as good as.” Now they have unleashed a new slogan: “women should be womanly, must show femininity.” In plain language, they want women


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